Why’d the turtle cross the road?

As I was driving down a little back road the other day, a box turtle was trying to cross the road. I stopped, put on my flashers, and picked it up to help him across the road. When I did, he hissed, but I helped him anyway. As I got back in my car and drove away, I thought about how I am much like that turtle. God sees that I am trying to cross the road and His hands guide me and protect me from potential danger. Yet I hiss grumbles and complaints and wonder what He’s doing with my life. Instead I should be thanking Him for seeing me and caring about me.

Life has felt very difficult lately and  rather than picturing myself on a quiet little back road, I was visualizing the turtle crossing a stretch of highway in Hawaii that has six lanes in each direction. Cars are zooming past and the turtle is tucked in his shell spinning from all the commotion. Turning around to go back is just as scary as continuing to press forward. A car flattening the turtle seems like the easiest way out.

At counseling the other day, I shared about the turtle because she commented that there has been a lot going on in my life. I agreed and said that it feels like car after car just keeps coming. She said I should draw a picture to remind me of this vision God gave me.

The turtle emoji crossing the H-1

Because I am a good student and want to do my assignment, but don’t actually want to draw, I found a picture of the highway and started adding a turtle emoji. As I did so, I found myself repeating, “You’re never gonna let you’re never gonna let me down” (some of the lyrics from King of My Heart by Bethel Music).

It’s hard to not be able to see the other side of the road. It’s hard to not know when the next car is coming. It’s tough when you can’t see God‘s hand guiding and protecting. It’s lonely when you hide in your shell.

I trust that God wants me to live life abundantly (John 10:10). On days that is hard to believe, these are some verses I have been reading and reciting over and over again:

• “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” Psalms‬ ‭43:5‬ ‭ESV‬‬
• “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.” 2 Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬ ‭CSB‬‬ (This one is actually framed and hanging in my bedroom.)
• “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear. The Lord of hosts is with us. ‘Be still, and know that I am God.’” Psalms‬ ‭46:1-2a, 7a, 10a‬ ‭ESV‬‬
• “Since I am afflicted and needy, Let the Lord be mindful of me. You are my help and my deliverer; Do not delay, O my God.” Psalms‬ ‭40:17‬ ‭NASB‬‬
• “And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it,’ when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.” Isaiah‬ ‭30:21‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I had an interview at a Christian school today and one of the questions they asked was "What has God been teaching you over the past few months?" And my response was "He's faithful." No matter how many cars zoom by, He is faithful. When I can't see the other side of the road, He is faithful. Even when I'm hiding in my shell, He is faithful.

Victory in Jesus

I don’t know that I’ve ever cried uncontrollably while singing a song before, but I did this morning....

The last few weeks before I moved home from Hawaii, I distinctly remember three different times where I had some sort of experience with friends and was enjoying good conversation with them and just thought I wish I could stay in this moment forever. Laying on the beach at Hanauma Bay with Maile & Abigail after a snorkeling, talking while drying off from the warmth of the sun. Sitting atop Chinaman's Hat (after kayaking to it and climbing up it) with Kileigh reminiscing over the previous two years and discussing our faith and our futures. Eating PB&J while Adele & Jonathan ran around searching for the perfect photo op of the monk seal at Ka'ena Point, looking down the beautiful coastline. But of course no matter how beautiful the location, or how fun the friend, eventually we had to return to reality and continue on with our regularly scheduled lives.

Haunama Bay

Chinaman's Hat

Ka'ena Point

Psalm 91:1

Psalm 91:1 "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty."

When I first read this verse I thought it seemed a bit repetitive and wasn't quite sure what it meant. So I looked up the keywords in Strong's Concordance but felt more confused. It seems that to "dwell in the shelter" is like a permanent place of protection whereas to "abide in the shadow" seems to be a place of more temporary rest and protection. So to rewrite it based on my understanding of the words is: He who lives under the protection of the Lord will spend the night under the protection of the Lord. I put my notebook to the side because I just wasn't sure what to make of that. It seems a bit backwards - of course if you have permanent protection you will have daily protection.

Then I thought of a few conversations I've had lately with some solid Christians that all seemed to have the same theme. I know I can trust God with big things (the permanent), but it's hard to trust Him with the small things (the temporary). I trust God with eternity, but I question what He's doing when the circumstances of life don't turn out as I hoped. I dwell in the shelter of the Most High, but I struggle to abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

Maybe this verse should be my prayer: God, since I dwell in your shelter, since I know I can trust You with the big things, since I know You hold me in Your hands for eternity, help me to abide in Your shadow, help me trust you with the small things, help me not to question You when the circumstances of life don't turn out as I hoped. God, thank You for providing protection permanently and temporarily.

"If we trust you for eternity, why can't we trust you for today?" -Josiah Nordgren

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These are some of my thoughts after reading the Verse of the Day on my YouVersion Bible app.