She's Got Issues- Fear

Sunday School: “She’s Got Issues”    by Nicole Unice                                              February 15, 2015

Fear

Fear = a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid

Example of dog getting zapped: Fear in our lives has the potential to make us lie down paralyzed into rigidity, living a life that seeks comfort over risk and security overgrowth. (145)

Most of us have met a painful enough experience somewhere along the way that we know what fear feels like. But what we often struggle with is what we are to do with it. (145)

Many forms of anxiety are much more common in women than men. Anxiety is defined as an exaggerated sense of worry or fear, beyond what would be expected for the situation. If severe enough, anxiety causes a crippling inability to work, live, and relate to people in meaningful ways. The problem of anxiety is compounded because it is often a secret shame, one that most Christians feel they would not be dealing with if they were truly following Christ. (146)

[quiz]

Answering yes to any of the statements indicates you were dealing with anxiety. But if you answered yes to many of the questions, or recognized a behavioral pattern that is significant, growing, or has last several months, you may struggle with an anxiety disorder. (147)

Many people leave anxiety disorders untreated, assuming their lack of faith is the problem and that they need to keep quiet and get through it on the road. But the truth is, anxiety needs to be brought to the light before it can be addressed. Yes, God can help, and he will. But he's also the creator of medication, counseling, until the living – all of which she can use to help you improve your life. (148)

One of the best things you can do for yourself, for your family, and for the community you are in is to finish her anxiety head-on and deal with it. Doing so I can bring you great freedom. (148)

Low-lying anxiety can also be a symptom of great spiritual struggle with fear, miss trust or faith. (148)

Acting on anxiety looks like a brooding salt life, a worry some way of dealing with relationships, and a lack of phone or ability and openness with others. (148)

1) fear of suffering
-it is in our nature to avoid death and to try to keep ourselves from harm.(149)
-flying between commonsense an unreasonable here is the thing on. One person's full of shit this is another's phone for proof, look no further than bungee jumping. Activities that one person stays away from to spare herself pain may be embraced by another person who views that pain is tolerable discomfort for proof, look no further than marathons in the actual childbirth. (149)
-in addition to the fear of death, many of us fear emotional pain. (150)
-so often we present a happy face on the outside yet nurse difficult feelings privately. (150)
-her understanding of being a good Christian girl about no place in her heart for negative and powerful feelings like fear, resentment, grief, and rage. Negative emotions aren't to be feared that are often a place where you can experience God's light, which always overpowers even the darkest places of the soul. (151)

2) fear of failure
-we live every day to avoid the feeling that we tried, put ourselves out there completely, and didn't cut it. We weren't going enough. We can actually do it. (152)
-determined to avoid failure any cost, some of us make only safe decisions about life. We don't take the leap of faith because we fear the skinned knees of trying and not making it the first time. (152)
-The irony of failure and the panic can bring is this: failure might be gods ultimate expression of himself – his reminder that we are not, in fact, in control of everything. Powerful fears call for a mighty God. They remind us of the penis of our own strength. And it's often in the pain of the skinned knee and the crushed spirit where we experience that God is truly all we need. (153)

3) fear of rejection
We fear uncovering our true selves, allowing others to see who were really are – and then being rejected. (153)
-you and I have an inner yearning for that ultimate expression of belonging. (153)
-if we don't reckon with our pain and invite the only one who will never for sake us into that place, we may keep ourselves covered and never risk letting anyone see the real essence of ourselves again. (153)
-we may choose to expose only certain parts of ourselves that we deem acceptable, parts of us that haven't been rejected.(154)
-We reject parts of ourselves to avoid human rejection so as to avoid our deepest fear of all – the fear of being alone.(154)

4) fear of being alone
-"language… Has created the word 'loneliness' to express the pain of being alone. It has created the word 'solitude' to express the glory of being alone."(154)
-unchecked, the fear of being alone causes us to give up portions of ourselves to avoid loneliness at all costs. (155)
-solitude, it turns out, is fertile ground for sowing a deeper, richer relationship with Christ. (155)

All of us deal with fear. Anxiety is often a response to fear, our desire to do something about the fears we have. (155)

Anxiety is an irrational thinking pattern, often based on a rational fear. (156)

This relentless driving to relieve our anxiety forces us to remain focused on ourselves. And here is where fear becomes the problem. We miss opportunities to love, to grow, and to serve. We take the energy and passion God has put in is for change and we turn it into a cycle of self protection. (156-157)

[WATCH VIDEO]

Have you ever struggled with the tyranny of what if? As the what if's of our heart increase in volume and intensity, the pressure in our souls to do something about them also increases. When they go on checked, these internal voices run endlessly through various scenarios, spinning the same thoughts over and over, running like a hamster on a wheel in our mind. Anxiety is like a pressure cooker in our souls. The pressure of the what-ifs builds, and if the fears aren't faced, eventually we are ready to burst. (162)

-Beth Moore- answering the what-ifs, recognized she’d survive.

because anxiety is so prevalent in our culture and so overrated in legitimate fears, we often don't want to face the reality that anxiety is a direct path to sin. (162-163)
So when do are anxious thoughts become sin? When we allow the voice of anxiety to determine our thoughts, feelings, and actions. The object of our fear becomes the idol that we allowed to determine our actions. (163)

'More than 300 biblical passages tell us not to fear, but little relief will come to someone struggling with phobias if he or she is just told not to fear.  That is not  a sufficient answer. Such behavioral and legalistic approaches only create even more confusion and guilt. Although Christ is the answer, and the truth will set us free, the suffering saint needs to know how to connect with God and how the truth sets us free.' (163-164)

Her anxiety was not addressed by paying a counselor but by experiencing the free, invaluable presence of God by spending an hour with him each day. I realize that this is the stock Christian answer. You may be frustrated by the lack of how in this prescription... The more worries a part of your life, the more opportunities you have to spend with God. (164-165)

Freedom from pain: rolling in the deep
Every character, from Adam to Jesus, experienced physical, emotional, or spiritual pain here we find our first truth: suffering is inevitable. (165)

1 cor 15
-pain is still a part of our reality – but it is not the ultimate reality;
-pain will still hurt – but it cannot kill our soul;
-pain will come, and even be allowed by God – but he will always use it for his glory. (166)

God will play the ultimate trick on evil by using what was meant for bad and transforming it into something that leads others to recognize his existence and to worship him.

Freedom from the fear of failure: redefining success
The only thing worse than being rejected was not trying (168)
'I acquitted success with the attempts, not the mastery of the skill.'  (175)

1 Cor 14:1
when you're unsure about why we are making a decision – to keep ourselves safe or because it is a good, prudent choice – we can ask ourselves three questions based on this first:
1) am I making this decision out of love or out of fear?
2) Am I pursuing – and using – the gifts God gave me?
3) Am I proclaiming the truth? Do I know truth from God's word? Do I live by it? (168)

Freedom from the fear of rejection: choosing God's approval
Friend, your job isn't to make everyone like you. It's to glorify God with your life. That requires quieting your spirits that you can hear from God and be obedient when he speaks. (170)

Freedom from the fear of being alone: embracing solitude
'In solitude we discover that are worse is not the same as our usefulness.' (172)

Don't live in fear, live an authentic life. It won't be without pain and suffering, but it will be filled with freedom and joy. Accept your weaknesses and your strengths.

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We are studying the book She's Got Issues by Nicole Unice with the teen girls in Sunday School. These are my notes from the book. Just about none of it is my words-it's almost all quotes and paraphrases. I would recommend you read the book!!