Silence Others

Last week we discussed silencing the enemy. We talked about how the enemy “prowls like a lion seeking whom he may devour.”

In the war that is waged against us, he uses whatever tools he can. The three biggest things he uses are others, media and ourselves. Over the next three weeks we will look at each of these areas. Just to clarify, none of these things are bad in and of themselves. It is the negativity and lies of these things we need to silence.

There is an enormous amount of pressure put on teenagers today. You are told that to have a good career, you need to get into a good college. In order to afford a good college, you need to be involved in sports and clubs to get scholarships and have good grades. Teachers give homework which you have to get done after school and you have practice and chores. By the time you do everything that’s expected of you, you have no time for yourself.

In addition to all of the pressure put on you by adults, there is also great pressure on you from your peers. Besides dealing with the gossiping, rumors and bullying that previous generations have dealt with, you guys also deal with cyberbullying. At times it feels like you can’t get away from it because our phones are with us 24/7. Kids and teenagers can be extremely mean to each other. Even when with friends, there is so much sarcasm and teasing that goes on!

Because of these pressures, there has been a dramatic rise in teen suicide over the last number of years. 

So how do you deal with all of this? You obviously can't silence everyone around you. Even if you could, that wouldn't be healthy. We need people.

There’s this story you may have heard as a kid about Peter walking on water. It’s a story that’s almost a little out of place. It takes place in the middle of the book of Matthew, while Jesus is on earth. Jesus has been teaching and doing miracles in different towns. He does this awesome miracle where he turns a boys lunch into enough food to feed a crowd of 5,000 men (plus some number of women and children). He send the disciples off in a boat and when their boat gets to shore the next day, they’ll continue with Jesus as he teaches and does miracles. So this story about Peter takes place in between these days of miracles.

In Matthew 14:22-33, it says:  Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid." And Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

So to recap: The disciples are in a boat while Jesus goes off to pray. As evening comes, a storm has rolled in. Jesus walks out on the sea to join the disciples, but they are terrified. Jesus tells them not to be scared. Peter wants to verify it really is Jesus and comes up with a crazy idea of joining Jesus on the water. Peter walks out to Jesus, gets scared and sinks some, calls out to Jesus who takes him safely back to the boat. The storm stops and everyone on board worships Jesus.

So in a lesson about silencing others, what does this story tell us?

If you’re Peter, you can’t worry about what other people think. The Bible doesn’t tell us how the people on the boat responded when Peter asked to walk on water. But they would have either responded positively or negatively. “Go Peter, you can do this!” or “Oh brother Peter, you’re so dumb! Why do you always do these crazy things? Don’t you see the waves?!” (Or in Hawaiian pidgin… “Ho brah, you so mayjah!” “Petah, you one hammah!” or “You so irraz!”)

Silence others by not allowing their words to hold weight. Our worth comes from God. If we let our value come from the positive or negative comments people make, we will forever be on a roller coaster of highs and lows. If we only feel good about ourselves when we are being complimented, we will quickly feel bad about ourselves when we are insulted.

If you were one of the other disciples in the boat, what would you have been saying to Peter? Don’t mock people, you may be the “others” they need to silence. Be an encouragement and support to help others focus on Jesus too.

Silence others by listening to God. Peter was able to get out of the boat and walk on water because he focused on Jesus. He didn’t worry about the wind or waves. He didn’t listen to what others in the boat may or may not have been saying. When he focused on Jesus and listened to His commands, he walked on water. When he placed his focus elsewhere, he began to sink.

Silencing others doesn’t mean isolating yourself. Don’t get the wrong idea from this message. We are not saying people are bad. Peter wasn’t alone on the boat. Jesus didn’t teach him a lesson about faith and trust away from the other disciples. The Bible is full of passages that speak of the importance of other people in our lives! 

These points that we’ve just talked about are mostly focused on how to handle pressures put on us by our peers (friends, classmates, siblings).

But some of the pressures we mentioned at the beginning are being put on you by parents, coaches or teachers. The way we handle these relationships may look a little different.  

Ephesians 6:1-3 tells us that as children we are to obey and honor our parents. In a healthy relationship with your parents, you are expected to honor and obey them. If your parent are hurting you or asking you to do things that are wrong, please talk to one of the leaders before you leave tonight. That is not ok and you do not need to obey your parents if doing so is bringing you harm. In most cases though, we are to obey them. That is not optional, it is commanded by God.

Verse 4 (NIV) tells parents not to exasperate their children. Exasperate means “to irritate or provoke to a high degree.” What we talked about earlier, that pressure to do really well in school and sports, that can be exasperating! 

Silence others by speaking up. If that is how you feel, you need to talk to your parents and let them know. You need to be honest with them. Adults are not mind readers. You can’t just complain to friends or roll your eyes or turn to some vice to escape.

Now that's not necessarily going to be an easy conversation, but it needs to happen. You can't silence your parents, but you can make them aware of the pressure they have placed on you and help them understand why it's difficult for you. If you don’t know where to begin, you can start by telling them about this lesson. Or you can talk with another adult you trust for specific advice or even to talk to your parents with you.

If that pressure is being put on you by a coach or a teacher, you can talk to that adult directly or you can ask your parents to help you in talking to them. 

Don’t become a statistic. Don’t let the difficulties of life overwhelm you to the point that you hurt yourself. God is on your side. Focus on Him when the pressure from others gets loud. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

1. What pressures or lies do you hear from others? 
2. What do you do to handle those pressures?
3. What steps do you need to take in silencing others? Do you need help with that?

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This is the second of four messages in the Silence! Series I wrote for my church in Hawaii, New Hope Leeward.