She had a bad day...

You ever have one of those days where everything seems to go wrong? I remember one day in college my roommate, Amy, came back to the dorm and was super upset about how bad her day had been. She had overslept, so she didn’t have time to properly do her hair. During her Spanish test there was this high pitch noise and no one could figure out where it was coming from until the professor told Amy it was coming from her bag. The batteries were dying on some electronic so it was alerting her to replace them. She burnt her tongue on Easy Mac as she was running out the door to work. Some kids at the daycare puked on her. After work she got in her car, and it smelled of old Easy Mac she left in there at lunchtime. The list could go on.

You’ve had those days, I’ve had those days. I was having a morning like that the other Sunday. It just seemed like none of my preparations were coming together and I was getting flustered (flustered is putting it nicely). As I hurried through the narthex, I realized I had just walked past Caleb and hadn’t even acknowledged him because I was so focused on my own stuff.

[Philippians 2:1-4 Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.]

As I was teaching Sunday School that morning, one of the things we discussed was how compassion means “to suffer with” and when we are so focused on all of our own sufferings, we have no time to be compassionate towards others.

Paul talks about this with different words, but the same message. If we are in Christ, we should not be looking at just our own interests but the interests of others as well.

Don’t get tunnel vision and be so focused on all the things going on in your life that you have no time to be there for the people around you.

1. What’s the worst day you’ve ever had?

2. Let each of you look not only to _______________ interests, but also to the interests of _______________.

3. Who is someone in your life that could benefit from you looking out for their interests?

4. Take a minute and journal your thoughts about this passage:

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These are devotionals written for the teens. A handful of us are taking turns writing, so it may seem like sporadic passages. It all flows nicely for the teens in their devo books though.

She's Got Issues- Control

Sunday School: “She’s Got Issues”    by Nicole Unice                                              January 25, 2015

Control

Control Issues? Take Quiz

[WATCH VIDEO]

The spectrum of Control or Power

(over our lives and the lives of others)

Control Freak                                                                                                Out of control

-try to manage others                                                                           -don’t even manage themselves

-thing there is ONE right way to do things                                            -don’t take responsibility

                                                                                                           -don’t work towards positive change

Too much control and we coerce and manipulate, thinking this is who we love people.

Too little control and we abdicate our own influence and responsibility to be a loving force in the world

A misuse of misunderstanding of our own control is the issue that drives women crazy.

Origins of Control

1) Our relationship with control is fueled by our beliefs.

Beliefs are our rules for life. They are often unspoken and sometimes unrecognized. They are the fuel that determines our actions and our feelings.

Can you think of any invisible rules that have power over your attitude and emotions?
(her example husband being responsible to clean the garage.)

2) Control is inexplicably tied to our understanding of God’s work in the world.

            -We need to recognize that God is in control.

-Read pg 36-37 about dealing with issues makes you beautiful

3) Control is about our sin nature.

Prov 14:12; Isa 55:8; Ezek 18:25

-we think of sin as bad behavior, but Jesus adds it’s also not doing things we should do

Paradox of control:  the control we exert is often controlling us.

            Ex: woman in book locking doors

            2 Pet 2:19- slave to what controls you

Control is often and umbrella issue, it affects those around you. Loving others is harder when your primary concern is maintaining command over your own circumstances. (40)

“Everyone becomes either beautiful or bitter by the time she’s forty… women either face their stuff or they don’t. Women make choices either to do whatever is necessary to keep as much control as possible, or work hard to understand what is in their control and what must be entrusted to God. (42)

A bitter woman is one who has done whatever is necessary to keep as much control as possible over her life and the lives of those around her – she holds on to issues and spews them out like germs.

A beaten woman is one who hasn’t just exerted enough control, is knocked down by life and doesn’t recover – she’s just surviving, she gives up on her dreams of love, purpose and fulfillment – she is that woman who’s always helpful and nice but never transparent or deep.

A beautiful woman is one who’s gained an understanding of what is in her control and what must be entrusted to God. She forgives, she heals, she radiates an inner beauty, dignity and strength

Your beliefs and experience have given you what psychologist call either an internal or external locus of control. (44)

Internal: you need to maintain control- you are the king

External: you feel controlled by someone or something else- you are a pawn

-If you answered True to 1, 7, 11, you have a pawn type mentality – you might attribute life events to fate.
-You may have suffered childhood trauma, regardless of the severity – like divorce, you felt unsafe or violated or abandoned 
-it could just be her personality then you take life as it comes, are flexible, laid-back – but susceptible to stress and depression.

-If you answered true to 2, 3, 5, you have a king type mentality.
-you think that whatever happens is your own doing, you can control the outcomes of your life, you take responsibility for your actions, have a greater sense of the influence you have – but you also get derailed when things don't go as you planned and respond by trying to exert even more control.

-Nothing seems to bring out the control freakiness in women than a break up or a baby – true to 4, 8, 9, 10

-if you answered yes to 6, you're probably in between – you feel that in some areas you feel very much in control, and in others not so much

Fear and pride are often the deep motivators behind our control issues. (48)

            -pride- I will change what I don’t like

            -fear- I will avoid what I don’t like

Where do you see areas of struggle with control in your own life?

What do we do about it??

Truth #1- We were made to rule (Gen 1:26)

            -Ps 16:5-6- we all have areas of influence/rule (53)

            -Just like Adam and Eve usurped God’s plan we do too when we try to control things without Him

Truth #2- Our influence aligned with God’s influence = unstoppable power (55)

-Eve evaluated a decision apart from the will of God

-Matt 5:3 (MSG) “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you, there is more of God and his rule.:

Copernicus- we are not the center of our universe

Truth #3- Choosing to lay down our control is a lifelong event. (56)

-Read passage on 56-57.

So what is your posture toward God's kingdom in your life? Can you explain his role and his rule? Do you believe that he is both present and active in your life? That even when hardship comes, he can – and will - work all things together for good? (59)

Joseph – Genesis 39:9 – his choices here on this earth directly affect his relationship with God. He understands that when we make choices – good or bad – he ultimately has to answer to God's rule. He attributes both good and bad to God, but with a trusting attitude. (60) when good comes, he believes God has blessed him. When evil comes, he believes God can transform. His perspective is always informed by his belief that God is in control. (62)

Joseph models a surrendered life…

-Surrendering control to God is not something that once you obtain you’re set – it's a lifelong, daily, consistent habit

-A surrendered heart needs constant upkeep because the natural tendency of the heart is to move back toward independence and control.

-Surrendering to God is a posture, a habit and a check-in.

-A surrendered posture means we place ourselves in a particular position or attitude of surrender.

-a habit of surrender means we practice a behavior pattern of surrender so regularly that it becomes almost involuntary

-Job- as he clings to life into his tenacious believe in excepting both good and trouble from God's hand, we discovered the secret to the practice of surrender… Joe continues to come to God honestly. He pours out his heart and his woman, yet he keeps God in his position of authority. (65) (David too)

-a surrender check-in means we take a mental space bar and allow ourselves to examine your motives when our control freakiness sets in

-once we've developed the practice of surrender, then we're in the right position to influence others – not control them

-In private moments of surrender, we become strength and for the public arena of our influence. We earn a right to be heard by others, not because you and I have great advice or because of our intelligence, but because our character is changed by a surrendered spirit (70).

-because of the gentleness and humility that are born out of surrender, others will be drawn to you.(70)

-can you think of a specific time you've surrendered yourself to God?

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We are studying the book She's Got Issues by Nicole Unice with the teen girls in Sunday School. These are my notes from the book. Just about none of it is my words-it's almost all quotes and paraphrases. I would recommend you read the book!!

She's Got Issues- Intro

Sunday School: “She’s Got Issues”  by Nicole Unice                                             January 11, 2015

Introduction

Is being a Christian supposed to change me?

Coffee demo: adding may change the look or taste, but it’s still the same thing

            -2 Cor 5:17- Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

            -Eph 4:24; Col 3:9-10

What is it that makes us different? We can all probably name people who are not Christians and just as nice (if not nicer) than we are.

“…the disparity between what I said I believed about the Christian life and what I was living became clear to me.” “There was no dramatic issue lurking, I wasn’t hiding a secret life or stormy past. I knew my issues—my ordinary, run-of-the-mill, American woman issues—wouldn’t kill me or land me on Dr. Phil.” (xiii)

“We may say otherwise and we may know better, but we will live out what we truly believe.” –Beth Moore

“I can’t really handle ordinary life with a constant peace or a lasting joy. I do ok loving when it’s easy. I don’t love much when it’s hard.” (1-2)

“same old problems since middle school.”

            -when the Bible study group found out I was going to do this study with you, everyone of them was thrilled and commented on how they wish they had learned this stuff sooner.

-tired of the ordinary-tired of pretending-tired of struggling

-ordinary issues are often overlooked because they are so mundane, yet they become powerful when grouped together and we don’t recognize it.

“Being a Christian isn’t just about going to heaven. It’s about a power that transforms your whole life. Your thoughts. Your behaviors. Your relationships. Your love.” (7)

Read p7 about Peter.

[WATCH INTRO VIDEO]

There are three symptoms in your life that demonstrate you have issues:

1)      Blindness-

-shrugging off reality or justifying our behavior

Mt. 23:24-26- read p9

Do you tend to shrug off your actions, reactions, behavior, tendencies by blaming your circumstances, your personality, pms, other people??

2)      lack of compassion

-compassion means “to suffer with” and if we are suffering with our own stuff, it’s almost impossible to offer ourselves to others.

-The Lord is compassionate!! We need to be as well!

-Jesus’ compassion is followed by action- if we can’t, then we’ve got issues.

3)      convoluted conflict- it’s a part of life, and can be good (Pr 27:17).

But our issues make it difficult- we tend to go to extremes, avoid it or come out swinging

The book boils down all the various issues we may struggle with into 6 major issues:

1)      Control

2)      Insecurity

3)      Comparison

4)      Fear

5)      Anger

6)      Unforgiveness

We all have issues we deal with. Maybe yours is different than mine.

Even if you think you may not deal with one of these issues, pay attention because learning about them will help you be more loving/compassionate to other who do deal with them.

Nicole says she struggles most with control and anger. I’d say my biggest struggle is comparison, but be open-minded. I would have never said I struggle with anger, but was surprised as we did the study how much I actually do. WHICH ONE OF THESE ISSUES DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH THE MOST CONSISTENTLY? CAN YOU SHARE AN EXAMPLE OF WHEN IT APPEARED RECENTLY? HOW HAVE YOU SEEN THESE ISSUES HINDER YOUR RELATIONSHIP(S), EVEN WITH GOD?

What is the point of Christianity? Heaven?

            -wordless book doesn’t stop at yellow, what’s the green represent?

            -read underlines on p22

Before we dig into this study, there are three truths that you need to know.

1)      We are all crazy/messed up.

-be honest with where you need to change.

-look at David (24-25)

2)      You can’t change yourself.

-if you could, you’d already have done so.

-but we  feel like our issues are not important enough to bother God for

-read 25-26 underlined

3)      God can change you.

-maybe not the way you think it should (or in the time you think it should)

-“God can, and will, help you deal with your issues. If you let him.” (27)

-you have to be ready to surrender

It’s hard, but it’s worth it.

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We are studying the book She's Got Issues by Nicole Unice with the teen girls in Sunday School. These are my notes from the book. Just about none of it is my words-it's almost all quotes and paraphrases. I would recommend you read the book!!

We Keep Accountable Because We Love

Do you have one of those friends who tells you what you don't want to hear? Like the little angel sitting on your
shoulder pointing out to you why you shouldn't make whatever dumb decision you're about to make?

At one point in college, I was going through a bit of a rough time and as a result, I wasn't reading my Bible or praying – I was just going through the motions. One of my roommates called me on it. To this day, I can still hear her telling me that I needed to change – "Good Christian girls can get pregnant before they're married, pastors can have affairs and leave their families..." If you don't live for God daily, you can end up like that too…

We Spend Time With Because We Love

If you were stranded on a desert island, who would you want to be stuck with?


My guess is either answered with Leif or Scott because they'd build you a shelter and catch you food. OR you answered with one of your closest friends because that's a lot of time you'll be spending together and you want to be with someone you like.

Time is something we all value and are often careful with how we use it. When people make the time to hang with us in whatever capacity, it lets us know that they love us.

Read Luke 10:38-42.

There are three characters in the story, who are they and what are they doing?
1)

2)

3)

When Martha asks Jesus to make Mary help, he tells her, "there's only one thing worth being concerned about." (Luke 10:42a NLT). What is that one thing?


Mary opted to spend time with Jesus. Jesus said that was better than worrying about cooking and cleaning and everything else. (That's not to say those other things don't matter, my last devo was on serving… We just got to keep things in check.)

The New Testament is full of passages that talk about "one-anothering"… It's a kind of silly phrase but it groups together all these different verbs that we are to do for or with one another… Love one another, serve one another, instruct one another, forgive one another, encourage one another, confess to one another… in order to do these things, we must spend time with one another. "So then, as we have the opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith." (Gal. 6:10 ESV). We spend time with others because we love them.

Have you ever watched White Wolves? For those of you that haven't had the privilege, a group of teens and their leader go on a backpacking trip, very much like the wilderness trip, with less canoeing. Their goal is to get to the top of Eagle Rock. They eventually make it to the top and disaster strikes! Their trip turns into a rescue mission and they go through struggle after struggle on the way. In the beginning of the movie, Pandra tells Kara she likes Adam. As the movie goes on, Kara and Adam continually end up spending time together, they raft together, sit together at campfires, etc. They develop a deeper relationship because they spend time together. We just need to make sure the people we choose to spend time with our good people… What does 1 Corinthians 15:33 say about this?


There's one more thing we can learn from the story of Mary and Martha – we spend time with God because we love him. Jesus wasn't just any old friend Mary was hanging out with. If you look back at Luke 10:39, it says she was listening to His word. If we love Jesus, we will spend time reading His word and praying. We can't know Him and His will for our lives without spending time with Him. "If you love me, he will keep my commandments." (John 14:15 ESV). 

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This is a devotional I wrote for the teens on the Ecuador missions trip. Our theme for the devotionals is "We _____ because we love." We came up with a list of 11 (one for each day), and this is one I was assigned.

We Serve Because We Love

Welcome to Ecuador! I don't know what you were expecting, but I can tell you for sure that over the next 10 days our focus will be on serving – serving God and serving others.


We all have read numerous Bible stories and verses that tell us we should serve. "And whosoever would be first among you, shall be servant of all." (Mark 10:44 ASV). "Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God." (Heb. 13:16 ESV). "As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God varied grace." (1 Pet. 4:10). I could make you read the passage in John about Jesus serving the disciples by washing your feet. However, knowing we should serve is a no-brainer! You all know that, that’s why you’re here.


If I come over your house and ask you to get me a drink, you'd do so gladly (at least I hope you would). However, if your mom or your little brother were to make that same request, would you be as willing to serve them as you were me? My guess is you're a little less likely to want to do so... You might roll your eyes or mutter under your breath a little while doing it (I know cause I’m right there with ya).


Serving isn't just about what you are doing, but how you do it. We see this when we're eating out – there are good waiters and bad waiters and lots of time that has to do with their attitude or demeanor. We want the people serving us to be kind and pleasant, and to do the job well.


We are here in Ecuador because we love. We love God and want to honor Him through serving. Right now, you're probably excited and ready to start doing whatever is on today's agenda. You'll quickly do whatever it is that's being asked of you. However, as the week progresses, you're going to start to get tired and worn out. And you might start getting annoyed by constantly being around people. And when Jeff or Reiner or whoever asks you to do something, you're a little less likely to want to do so... You might roll your eyes or mutter under your breath a little while doing it.


If we serve because we love, our attitude or demeanor should reflect that. "Do all things without grumbling or disputing." (Phil. 2:14 NAS) or worded a little differently, "do everything readily and cheerfully – no bickering, no second-guessing allowed!" (Phil. 2:14 MSG). What we do isn't as important as how we do it. This applies not only to this week, but once we are back home as well. If we say we serve because we love, we need to serve joyfully, so others can actually see that love.


For example... Think about Jonah, what comes to mind when you hear his name?




As I wrote that question, immediately this song popped into my head: "Jonah was a prophet, ooh ooh, but he never really got it, sad but true." I know that the book of Jonah is a familiar story, but I would still like for you to read it. If you have time, read all four chapters. If not, read Jonah 3:10-4:11.


After running from the Lord, Jonah went and served God as he was supposed to, but he did it with some eye-rolling and muttering – and a hike up a cliff. He loved God, so he served Him, but he did it out of obligation and took no joy from what he did. When I think of Jonah, I think of how sad it was that he missed out on the joy of serving because of his bad attitude. Sure, God was still able to use him and the Ninevites were saved, but Jonah missed out.


What does this mean for you? As we go through the week, make sure that as you serve you do it with a good attitude. Not every job you get assigned is going to be fun or easy, some could be a pain… When we serve joyfully, it lets people see our love for them but more importantly our love for God.
"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, especially to those who are of the household of faith." (Gal. 6:9-10 ESV).




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This is a devotional I wrote for the teens on the Ecuador missions trip. Our theme for the devotionals is "We _____ because we love." We came up with a list of 11 (one for each day), and this is one I was assigned.

Setting the Stage for What's to Come

Recap: Hannah prayed for years for a son before the Lord gave one to her. She gave Samuel to Eli the priest so he could serve the Lord.

Read verses 1-10: These verses are Hannah's prayer (or song) and would have been tied to the sacrifice she made in regard to Samuel's birth – well, God's answer to prayers more so than the actual answer itself. Some commentators feel that her prayer shows the themes of 1 and 2 Samuel. We see God's sovereignty, and the expected Messiah.
Hannah shares a lot of theology in her prayer. What attributes of God does Hannah rejoice over? Or what things does she praise him for?

• The salvation He gives (v1)
• His holiness (v2)
• His strength (rock- v2)
• His knowledge (v3)
• He is just (v3)
• He is sovereign which means He controls all things and He is omnipotent or all-powerful (v5-9)

Also, verses 4-5 seem specific to Peninnah and Hannah's situation. Verses 9-10 we see a little bit of eschatology, meaning there are  prophetic remarks about what's to happen in the future. As we read Samuel, we will see that they were fulfilled immediately but also will be filled in the end times.

Read verse 11: Elkanah (and although unstated, Hannah) go home, Samuel remains with Eli to minister to the Lord.

Read verse 12a: "worthless men" - From seeing this phrase repeatedly in the book of Judges, we should know this is foreshadowing something bad is about to happen… And it's especially terrible because we know Eli's sons are what? Priests!

Read verses 12b-17: Phineas and Hophni didn't know the Lord and continually broke ruless and really stole what belongs to the Lord. Their sin is causing others to sin because their sacrifices are not being done properly. Their sin of Phineas and Hophni is very great. We don't understand a lot of the meaning behind what's going on with the sacrificial customs, but the fat portion belonged to the Lord, and that's what they're stealing. So this is a huge issue because it's sin being committed against the Lord!!

Read verse 18: Samuel is actually serving… Also it says he's wearing an ephod, which in Exodus 28 we learn that it's a garment worn by priests.

Read verses 19-21: Hannah and Elkanah continue to sacrifice yearly. Hannah brings Samuel a homemade robe each time. Because of this, Eli asks the Lord to bless them with more children, and he does with five more. Again it emphasizes that Samuel continues to grow.

Read verses 22-25: Eli is getting old. He knows that his sons do terrible things (both the stuff with the sacrifices we saw previously and now it also mentions that they sleep with women at the temple). Eli pleads with his sons to repent because their sins are against God, not men. They refused to listen and God is going to put them to death.
Depending on what version you read, it says God desired to put them to death or that he longs to put them to death. Ultimately, God longs for each of us to repent, however sin has consequences and if we refuse to repent, God will punish us for our sins.

Read verse 26: The atrocity of Eli's sons is book-ended by reports of Samuel's growth and favor. It is a huge contrast between how these men who are supposed to be priests are portrayed versus this boy growing up. The wording here is also very reminiscent of the wording used to describe Jesus in Luke 2:52.

Read verses 27-34?: "Man of God" – a human messenger sent by God with this message (paraphrased of course):

• You know me (v27). 
• You know I choose your tribe (v28). 
• Why do you to file me (v29)? 
• Punishment is coming for the defilers (v30-33). 
• Sons die same day (v34). 
• But God will raise up a faithful priest (v35). 
• He will be over Eli's household (v36).

Application:

• Don't let your age hinder you. (1Tim. 4:12) Samuel was a boy and yet the one who was doing the right thing. Just because people are older, it does not mean they are automatically correct or more spiritual. Don't fear serving thinking that there are people more qualified than you because of their age.
• Decisions have consequences. Hophni and Phineas are living is sin and seem like they are getting away with it, but it catches up with them. 
• Repent while you can. Even when your decisions have consequences, God longs to forgive us. (Jer. 18:8-9, 1 John 1:9)

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We are currently going through 1 Samuel in the youth group Sunday School class. These are my lessons turned into posts.